I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
