I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
