According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I FOUND THE LEGS
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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