I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
