her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
do nipples grow back?
Randomize