I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
