In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
