You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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