dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
