you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
