all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Still dying that you shit outside
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
