If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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