Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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