After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
