I skipped work to stalk him.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
