Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize