hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
