What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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