Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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