Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
