You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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