Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Fuck me I smell like cheese
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
