...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
