Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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