It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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