I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
