Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
