biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
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