Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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