We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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