love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
