I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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