so explain again why im purple
no
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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