38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
