love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize