It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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