He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
And then my night got REAL pukey
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
