Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
