Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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