she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Randomize
