I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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