He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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