That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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