I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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