Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
