sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
