Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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