We won't sleep together?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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