im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
