thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
