Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize