We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Randomize
