Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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