he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
