dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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