FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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