ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
