all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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