Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
