I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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