I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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