Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
